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Aug. 5th, 2004 @ 08:31 am Spillage of the a Not-so-Broken Heart
I'm feelin': artisticinspired
And I'm listenin' to: I Got That Boom Boom -- BS (You know I've got that Boom) ha
I am sitting on my living room floor right now watching Tom and Jerry. hehe.

Don't you just hate it when someone reads over your shoulder? Aarrg. My brother does that all of the time and I think my dad does it sometimes too. But my dad is better at it, I can never be sure that he's actually doing it so I make it a point that whatever I am doing when he is around isn't personal. :)

I am going to take a ride to Val State today and get a course catalog. My orientation is tomorrow but I want to have some idea of what I am looking at before I go, you know? Just a little extra preparation.

So my dad has been acting wierd the last few days and so I confronted him about it. I am getting better at this whole talking to my parents thing :). But I asked him if he was mad at me because he's been different and I want to know if there is anything I can do to help. But he said he wasn't mad just concerned and when we get a chance we will sit down with mommy and talk about it. So I said okay. That it sounded like a good plan and I am looking forward to talking things out and such. Because when I turned 18 we were supposed to do that and talk about rules and curfews and such so that there were no misunderstandings. Well that hasn't happened yet and I have been guessing on stuff. I haven't really taken full blown advantage but I have taken a little leeway since I am 18.

But yeah I hope we talk tonight. And maybe tonight I will ask my parents how they'd feel if I moved into my own apartment with Ash.

The plan was originally me and Ash. Then it turned into me ash and shel, then me ash shel and Erin... And now it seems we are back at square one. And Shel is not to keen on that. But Its hard to find a 4 bedroom apartment for reasonable prices and decent locations. So we were thinking of doing the "Friends" thing and getting two two-bedroom apartments across the hall from each other or maybe down the hall. Whatever. But She doesn't want to do that either. I don't know.

I applied for a credit card yesterday too.

Anywho... we shall see how everything goes down. It won't be easy moving out but it shouldn't be too bad because I don't really have to pay for school for the most part. My Grandma Arlene left me a scholarship fund with enough money to get me through college when she passed away. Which I think that makes me one of the luckiest girls in the world. Because if it weren't for her I'd be struggling with everything. I owe a lot to her. She was an amazing woman and I love her so much. I miss her. I everything I do I do it for her. I am going to school for her and for myself. She is probably one tof the main reasons I choose education as a career for myself.

I also think I am going to get back into modeling. Does anyone know of any great agencies? And I think I am actually going to stand in line for American Idol... I need to get my life back together.

Norby - You were right. Of course, you know me so well, you can see right through me. :) I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

I am moving on. I need to stop wallowing in self pity and missing the person who hurt me most. I love Josh. I probably will forever but I will get over him. I will fall out of love with him and there will be another. There will be better stronger love. There will be real love.

Well kids thats me spilling my heart for today. I will talk to you kids later.

<3


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Aug. 5th, 2004 @ 02:58 pm orphan entry, noname
I'm feelin': boredbored
And I'm listenin' to: Ashlee Simpson -- Better Off
Brian called me today :) After me and Ash went over to Val State we went and met up with him for a little bit. He asked me to go over to his casa later to watch a movie so I think I might just do that. I am excited.

haha, why do I seem to get butterflies in my tummy whenever he calls or I get to see him. hehehe.

::edit::

Today is Friday! wooot. I get paid today.

I had to get up early so I can be at the orienttion thingy for Val State. I will leave for it in about 20 minutes or so. Anywho...

I went over to Brian's last night it was fun. Nothing exciting happened except that he played some new songs and yeah. :) He's a cool kid and I love'im.

I'm bored. ick.

I'll talk to you kids later when I have something better to write about.
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